When Love Returns to a Broken Heart

After a person has been divorced it takes a while for the heart to heal enough to be ready for love again. I have often wondered how long this would take and when it would happen. I will say I knew it was going to have to be someone special to make my heart feel love again.

Before you get to excited and want to know who he is I need to say that the Lord is in control. He knows what we need, who we need and when we need it and if we do our part in following him and trying to line our life with his, then blessing will be poured out upon us. I am truly grateful for the Savior and the Atonement in my life. It may sound so easy to place your yolk upon him and let him bear the weight, but it is not. I now know that this can be done and that it is not easy but worth all the effort, tears and pain. Without all of those things we can not truly appreciate and savor the blessings, Joy and Love that follow.

My life is changing right now. Jay and Jake are moving back to Washington. I have been wanting to move out for a while but have been very comfortable and somewhat happy. I had been having a desire to start attending the singles ward, but struggled with leaving my calling in the young women's program in my family ward. I felt as if I was being selfish and letting the Lord down. After prayer and careful consideration I decided to talk to my bishop about going to a singles ward. I explained how I was feeling and what was going on at home and his reply was " if that is what you feel you need to do, you have my support."

I called my friend Brooke and found out which ward she attended and went to check it out. It felt so comfortable in her ward, like I had been attending there for a while. So many people who have had hard things happen to them just like me. Brothers and Sisters from all over the world, it was like a big singles melting pot. I felt like I was home, like I belonged there. Brooke introduced me to several people and friends in the ward, but there was one that stood out. His name is Denise and he is from Nigeria, Africa. Now the only black people I have ever had any contact with were in culinary school and they were lets say a little rough. Denise is different and I could tell instantly just by shaking his hand and introducing myself. I have gotten to know Denise very well over the past few weeks and it is still mind boggling to wrap my head around our relationship. Now don't go crazy and think by me using the word relationship that Denise and I are anything but friends. We are friends and only friends but, the connection and level of friendship we share is truly sent from the Lord. I believe it goes back to what I said earlier about the lord knowing what and WHO we need in our lives.

Denise and I have has similar experiences in our past marriages. If anyone has experienced what we have then they would know for themselves how it feels to live through something like that and come out alive but very altered. It messes with your emotions like you can not comprehend unless you have lived it. I believe that is one reason we have such a strong connection and understanding of each other. In the past three weeks we have spent more time together that I have spent with any of my other friends. When we talk it is so natural and easy. He makes me feel as though I am important, special and can share anything with him. A man that truly listens and responds. The first thing he says when he sees me is always a compliment of some kind and it is always heart felt and sincere. I am not self conscious around him because he places more worth on a persons inside than outside. He truly tries to live life by improving not only himself, but also anyone who he comes in contact with by leaving them a better than he found them. Denise is so intelligent, blunt and straight forward and has brought out a better me. He has helped me to open my heart again so that I know that it is ready for love again.

I am grateful for his friendship and the things we have been able to share with each other. The Lord knows what he is doing, all we have to do is have faith, hope and do the work and we will be blessed.